tayla and kahu

a little lion (tayla's favourite animal)

she loves the camera

back to uni tomorrow.... aarrgghhhh.

i'm not worried about getting back into the morning routine, i'm not even that worried about all the upcoming work and assignments, the one thing i have managed to keep out of my mind until today is this, tomorrow i get the results back from the microbiology exam. shit. i guess i cant hide from it anymore.
now i have resigned myself to the fact that i completely bombed that exam, but seeing in on the paper in front of me will be an entirely different story. why is that? why is that when you know something its still such a shock when you find out for sure?
Anyways i finished one assignment last night and did most of the homework i have had 2 weeks to do, typical me, last minute girl.
Tayla has gone with her grandma (hehe, yes thats what she's called) for the morning to the open day up at the museum so she'll be happily riding on the little train in no time, which gives me time to get the house clean and get ready for tomorrow...... hahahahaha yeah right, not when there's a 3 hour special of home and away on tv!
Scott is working 7 days a week at the moment and will be for at least the next month thanks to crazy deadlines at his work so i'm beginning to feel almost like a single gal again! well not really but i've barely seen him lately and wont be for quite a while.
i'm glad the blog craze is being carried on and brendon and lisa have now got a site too which means i can check all the cute photo's on even more of my lil rellie's and i promise i am in the process of sorting out some photo's of Tay for this site.

The painting is driving me nuts, its depressing me, not just cos its so big and is taking so long but it is a depressing picture. ho hum.

Anyway, the holidays are nearly over and i have achieved absolutely nothing, which is quite fulfilling in itself really.

While my brothers are dealing with winter cold with the kids and all that lil person stuff my household is looking upwards and onwards, tayla doesnt wet the bed anymore, YAY (i hate doing washing) she uses words and not just high pitched squealing sounds to get what she wants, AND (the best of the lot) we are beggining to eradicate the "i need" from her vocabulary!!! plus now when we take her to the pools she wants to spend more time in the bigger deep pool which is way more fun for those of us that enjoy swimming in a pool where the water comes above our knees.
She is also starting to watch the type of cartoons that i like! bunus huh.

Well i've found something to do....and then some!
a friend asked me a couple of months ago if i could do a large scale painting of a photo he took while on holiday in his home country of south africa before his newly found love came over to nz so it was finished when she got here (they met on said holiday) so of course i said yes cos i had so long to do it. when he never brought me the photo or the canvas i assumed he'd scrapped the idea.
a couple of days ago he shows up with a giant canvas and his camera..... no paints, you see he wants it done in oils (i HATE painting with oils) so i go out and buy the paints, which he will be fixing me up for lately........ uh huh.......$75 later im sat here with a huge canvas a photo (which i also had to pay to get printed out) and some horrible oil paints. Now this is a fairly complex picture, being in black and white some would think that makes it easier... well not quite, its actually quite tricky to get all the contrasts right and make it look good, those who have blown up a photo will know that they tend to look a little rough, so i have to take a photo, blow it up like a million times and make it not look rough.

Did i mention he then told me i have a month to finish it. SHIT.

I also have 2 assignments to do and a brat to attempt to control.

My next big challenge is to try and get a lazy pomme and an equally morning challenged 3yr old up to go to the dawn parade next week. I do like a challenge, but not that much of a challenge. How do you motivate a 3yr old who has no idea what an Anzac is to get up at like 4am to go and pay her respects to those who served our country in the war? Well i figure if i can work out a way i may even be able to get her to apply it to her mother when she's at home..... i know im delusional, but just give me my moment.

i know i said that on the holidays i was going to do nothing..... but i am soooo BORED
holidays are great..... for a couple of days and then it sux. Im running out of things to do and its only thursday on the 1st week. damn.
so far i have eaten...watched tv.... and eaten some more.
lame.
so if anyone has any great suggestions let me know, as long as they dont involve cleaning and cooking im down with it

i'm hung-over, but it is not one of those boring old alcohol hang-overs.... oh no, that would be way too easy, its a hang-over that consists of a mixture of chocolate and children.
my house is completely trashed, as is my spirit. it seems to me that everyone is trying alternative means of driving me to the edge, (singstar?) i mean if they really want me dead surely something as simple as a single bullet would be better? much more humane thats for sure.
anyway i won't be keeping you with my complaining for long tonight i just wanted to get that little bit off my chest. so i am going out to buy some dinner because i cant see my kitchen at the moment, i think it is buried under all the chocolate boxes and wrappers.

why is it that as responsible, fairly intelligent people we annually subject ourselves to the horror show that is easter? i mean we know what chocolate does to our kids in small doses right? so why in gods name do we go out and buy the biggest coolest chocolate novelty's every year? do we have that much of a limit on our memory that we forgot what happened last year when we pumped our kids full of sugar? i think i block it out, like you do with most horrible trauma's in your life i mentally block out easter.

This year is not exception, there were three of them, smashing easter eggs on their heads (was really funny till tayla tried to do it with a creme egg....... those babies are hard!) they were running aroung like headless chickens, beating each other up and all sorts of madness my brain has already begun turning into a haze.

It got to the point where we sent them out into the garden to look for fairies, you see to find a real live fairy you have to be super still, and best of all completely silent!! it lasted all of 10minutes but trust me, right now those felt like the best 10minutes of my life!!!!

Today i'm in mourning

i am grieving for all the poor innocent songs that were brutally murdered last night.

at approximately 2am tayla awoke to the sound of what i like to call "The death of Bob Marley" thats right they even killed Bob. Now this is a notable event on account of the fact that tayla can sleep through anything, well could until last night, she's slept through party's, even D.J's spinning in the room next to her bedroom but last night she was woken up to a terrible sound, poor girl. She sleepily wandered down and all she had to say is that they were too loud for her, and that it was a bad noise. i second that one, hell i'll third it too if i can.

We took her out to a restaraunt tonight for dinner to make up for it, she got to order anything she wanted, even those horrible sugar fuelled pink drinks they make for kids to punish parents for bringing children into their establishment. Thats how guilt ridden i was.

I know i've been going on about it, and i apologise but i just need to know there are others out there that feel my pain, I knew you would Trev.... but surely there are others????

i know its nearly 1am and i should be tucked up in bed but it's like a car wreck, i cant look away..Singstar.......i have a new respect for the spice girls, yes i said it, i never thought they could sound worse.... till i heard these singstar enthusiasts have a go, i mean really, how do u manage to sound worse than posh spice? apparently its not that hard. Don't even get me started on their version of the scissor sisters, only trained professionals should be allowed to even attempt those high notes.

Did they manage to get me up on the mic to have a go? HELL NO. i mean these people are actually delusional enough to think that they can hold a tune, they admit that they are tone deaf.....shit i wish i was, at least then i could live in their reality. In this parallel universe of theirs they are talented pop stars, POP STARS!!!

The neighbours must think i run some sort of animal torture house, strangling cats and raping donkeys and what not, thats what it sounds like...seriously.

on the upside tayla has gone to bed so at least she doesnt have to be subjected to it...im suffering enough for both of us right now

Singstar is now banned from my house

Yay last day of uni is over.... well for 2 weeks anyway.
and what better way to celebrate than to have a couple of the girls over with the 80's kareoke game SINGSTAR......... I can think if hundreds, i think chinese water torture may even come above the whole singstar phenomenon. But i caved and Taransay got her wish, which is basically alcohol fueled nursing students singing really bad 1980's hits.... damn her, but it means i get to pick the next party game, which (as trev and caleb will know) involves a couple of dice and punching eachother in the arm repeatedly, yes, much better.

for anyone wondering the exam was shit, but thats what i expected, tell ya what if i pass i will even lower myself to pick up a mic and sing with these girls next time they hire singstar....maybe...probably not.

so what do i plan to do with my 2weeks of holiday bliss? absolutely fricking nothing and im going to love every second of it.

I have just now realised something fairly substantial about myself........ i'm an idiot.
ok so im not an idiot but today i do not feel smart. quite the opposite really.
I am in total denial regarding my upcoming exam, im just pretending like its not even happening, people talk about it and im like exam? what exam?
It certainly doesnt help that i am perceived as the class clown, (which by the way i have no idea how that happened) mind you people do tend to underestimate you when they think you're just around to make them laugh and god only knows i love the rise of an underdog! so we can only wait and see.
The way i figure it is that i am overly intelligent, i mean if i can create a social experiment like that without even realising im doing it surely thats a sign of higher intelligence...... right?.....course it is.
Here is an example of what i'm saying, we had an exam the other week and a friend and i were not getting it in class at all so one afternoon we decided to use our study flashcards and somehow turn them into a drinking game involving straight shots of bacardi, one whole bottle of bacardi, a 1/4 bottle of Kahlua and half a bottle of red wine later we were falling over the furniture dropping things BUT and this is the kicker, getting all the questions right. So we go to class the next day and tell some of our class mates about this new technique that we think is fantastic, now seriously how do you think they rated us after that? thats right they thought we were idiots.... did i mention i only missed out on 100% by half a mark on that exam? yeah exactly. So who are the idiots now huh?

The countdown continues........

Microbiology exam tomorrow..... hmm, had a study group last night, didnt go as well as expected on account of there being 4 kids 4yrs and under running around the place as well as a couple of bottles of wine, im pretty sure when you get up in the morning from a study session you 're not meant to have a sore head and a trashed house. oh well.

Thankyou anonomous for your encouraging words, now all i have to do is get there.

One thing that i cannot believe about this course is how much it costs! i mean first there's your fee's, nearly 5,000 a year, for three years, then there's your text books, 1,030 just for the 1st 6months, shit, this is going to kill me, then there's a uniform, coupley hundred there, and i just spent 200 bucks on a stethoscope, thats not even the lot! i could go on but i wont, im just having a rant to myself really. So i have voluntarily surrounded myself with sick people, made myself about as broke as you can get, am constantly torturing myself with the stress of exams and assignments and on top of that i hardly ever get to see my little girl..... Apparently i love working under pressure but does anyone else think i may have gone a little overboard this time?

me too

ok so i need a drink, a strong one. NOW.
who in their right mind gives an exam, on MICROBIOLOGY!?!?! on the last day of the term, i mean really? for one, microbiology is no easy feat, not for someone who has spent the last 6 and a half years studying nothing but the effects of alcohol on ones body... and wallet.
So i went and decided i wanted to be a nurse, i was sick of serving drunks so why not just wait till they get drunk and then deal with them up at A&E (the department i am hoping to get placement in) everything has been going brilliantly too might i add, excellent results in my exams so far, (missed out on 100% by half a mark on my last one) Hospital training has been going well too, turns out i can talk to sick people without them dying on me. But then there's a spanner in the works, what i like to call microbiology, ok so i didnt come up with the name but hey.
I mean what am i going to use it for anyway?..... yes yes i know... a lot, but i dont like it, its technical-im creative, its precise-im chaotic, its hard-im ..... not even going there. I've tried everything, reading it, drawing it, googled it, shit i even tried listening in class. nothing.
wish me luck team, im going in!

On a brighter note however i would like to say a HUGE congrat's to my big brother Trev on the arrival of Lonan, Jonty, and Ava, yay babies, good luck to you and Breda and i cant wait to come visit, ill wait till the nappy thing is over though, ive done my dash with those. If you're ever after some helpful parenting advice, ask someone else, i dont even know where my kid is at the moment. im kidding, she's playing with my hair straightener in the bathroom. Ok so seriously, we're all here for you guys and planning on moving to the UK when ive finished my 3years so, ok you are 100% right, i cant plan what im doing tomorrow so im not going to plan what im doing in 3 years time. But it is looking hopeful.